Friday, November 21, 2008

Dames and Broads-they just dont make them like they used to

I spent a good portion of last weekend on my couch watching TV. Even though I had mountains of work to do, I chose to instead lay around in my college boyfriend teammate's jersey (Don't feel bad for him, the bastard had it coming:)) and cashmere socks. Sometimes life in its causal simplicity can bring such joy.

I meant to watch an old movie and revel in the glory that is Elizabeth Taylor, Sophia Loren, or either of the Hepburns (Audrey or Katherine depending on the mood), but then I stumbled upon Bravo TV and became physically unable to turn the channel.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta is simultaneously repulsive and captivating. You will find yourself wondering aloud "are these chicks for real?" as the hours drift by. Between Kim's awful wig and singing voice, Nene's unwillingness to wear a bra or stop talking shit, and Sheree's extremely high and misguided opinion of herself, it really is hard to look away.

But after many hours spent watching that nonsense I began to wonder where all the real Dames and Broads have gone. I miss women with awe inspiring wardrobes and witty one liners who cant keep men from throwing themselves in their direction. They seem to have been replaced with tacky and classless half wits who think that Victoria Secret is the epicenter of sexy.

Are there any left? Or must we wonder the earth searching for the real thing eventually settling for cheap mediocre knockoffs. Take the brief quiz below and reinstore my faith in today's women.

You find out that your guy has been cheating on you. You're supposed to meet him for dinner at a ritzy joint later that evening. You:
B. Attend the dinner and ask him where things went wrong.
C. Put on your sexiest little black dress and meet him as usual. Then you casually bring up the affair, catching him off guard, and carefully escalate the assault to the point where you throw your champagne in his face, and exit gracefully.

In bars, your drinks are:

When men tell you how beguiling you are you respond:
A. "What does beguiling mean?"
B. "Thank you" modestly and then avoid eye contact
C. Yes, I've heard that often but I prefer to think of myself as enchanting

If you answered mostly Cs, there might be hope for us yet.

From one broad to another,

Friday, November 14, 2008

Top 10 Lingerie / Underwear Brands

Just a bit a lingerie news to darken an already dreary Friday in NYC:

According to WWD, 2008 retail sales are really hurting long established intimates brands especially those distributed by department stores.

"Battered by consolidation, depleted margins and a glut of inventory, department stores have increasingly given smaller space in innerwear departments to national bra brands, many of which are promoted day in, day out, and have a generic look."

As a result most are cutting advertising, marketing and merchandising budgets drastically. Heavy hitters like Victoria Secret are still doing OK (formaldehyde bras notwithstanding) due to the teen focused PINK lines and international expansion.

Here are the top 10 Intimate Apparel lines by sales in the US

1. Hanes
2. Victoria's Secret
3. Fruit of the Loom
4. Playtex
5. Jockey
6. Bali
7. Joe Boxer
8. Maidenform
9. Vanity Fair
10. Calvin Klein Underwear

If you are anything like me , you looked at the above list and shook your head. Joe Boxer, Really???!!! Is the entire Unites States in 8th grade? Fruit of the Who? Well, I never...

Where does this list and this economy leave grown ups who prefer silk to rayon and sensual glamour to pink cheetah prints?

Don't worry ladies, I will not forsake you. You still deserve the best even if you now must pay less for it. No need to go to the dark side (read Hanes and ugly nude bras). The pictured Dechelles bra and panty set from Brazil (all silk and lace) retails for less than $65. It does not come in a pack of 3 and it shouldn't...

All is not lost.


Dames and Broads
Gorgeous and Affordable imported bras and panties
Jan 2009

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Envy and Girl Crushes

Last night I went out to dinner with some former co workers. After weeks spent working 12 hour days, trying to be a good caregiver to my new blind dog and recently discovering that I am allergic to my make up, I was proud of myself for just showing up. To say that I looked haggard would be a compliment. My hair was pulled back into a frayed ponytail. My attire was very secretarial pool circa Working Girl 1988. Makeup was non existent. I felt like I looked: Worn out.

We got down to the business of our quarterly catch up. After recapping jobs, boyfriends, and such, we veered off course to random story telling. It seems that our friend Kari had ventured into an ad agency to present to clients when all attention became focused on a sales rep from CNN who had just entered the room. She was one of those mythical urban legends that you read about, not only beautiful but incredibly well put together. Or maybe she seemed beautiful only because she was so put together. She did not merely take off her coat as much as there was a "reveal" of Extreme Makeover proportions with all eyes (male and female) on her. Kari then recited to us in elaborate detail every stitch of clothing this siren was wearing weeks ago. And we listened intently about a women we would never meet as if it was monumental in our lives.

I want to be that woman.

I bet she would have worn heels to dinner thereby avoiding frayed pant hems. Her hair probably would have been cascading down her back or at least her ponytail would be smooth and orderly (more Jlo and less Miss Celie from the Color Purple). No way in hell she would have walked out of the house without mascara. And lipstick. And foundation.

She has me beat. I can't be that woman everyday.

But I promise you this: If she had disrobed past her coat and her fancy dress... If she got rid of the expensive wide belt and perfect accessories... If she had chosen to show the world (or at least the inside that ad agency) her foundation garments... she would met her match.

For beneath my common wardrobe, I am formidable.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the fairest panties of them all...


Dames and Broads

Shop Dames and Broads Lingerie Jan 09

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Yes we can... Maybe I can too...

I love the English Language. When I was a kid, I used to diagram sentences for fun. (No, not my sexiest moment). There was something about the structure that I found incredibly satisfying. But I have always reserved my deepest affection for the words themselves. Antonyms, synonyms, onomatopoeia... There is something about seeking and finding one word to describe an emotion or happening that spellbinds me.

But there is no word for today. No group of letters strung together will ever fully encompass what I feel right now.

Everything is possible.

May god keep him safe.

God Bless America.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Risky Business

I just took an entrepreneurial risk assessment test and failed with flying colors. While there were a few parts in which I excelled (i.e all parts that required you to not play well with others), evidently I am a tad risk adverse. After receiving a score of 25 out of 38, I assumed that quiz was mistaken and I retook the test this time changing my answers to the truth (aka what I now thought they wanted to hear as opposed to the answers that I previously thought would yield the highest results). My score dropped to 23. Clearly I am not even daring enough to chance failing an open notebook test only meant to assess my own shortcomings.

I will admit it. I am terrified of failure and tend to avoid it at all costs. I am the girl who read 100 pages ahead in Choose Your Own Adventure novels to avoid costly mistakes and impeding doom. But I am even more afraid of fear's paralyzing effect on me. For this reason I have an extremely oxymoronic approach to life and risk. I inch my way closer to the edge and then take flying leaps off cliffs.

I researched buying studio apts in Manhattan for years and then bought a dilapidated three bedroom in Harlem 25 minutes after viewing it. My first entree into the stock market wasn't until I was 29 but I only bought one stock and with all of my cash reserves. I only play black jack @ $5 tables but have been know to go all in and lose hundreds in one hand. I spent most of my twenties never dating men more than twice. Four years ago I went out on a third date with one lucky gentlemen and we have been together ever since.

I don't believe in diversification.

Who knows how this will serve me in business. In life I have been right more times than wrong. I have had a ton of fun and cried a bunch of tears. I have lost my life savings at least 3 times and have doubled my net worth. The only thing that I am sure of is that money comes and money goes. And the only regrets I have are the things I did not do...

I already see my duality rearing its ugly head. I alternate daily between cutting back inventory levels in case I am the only one who actually needs functional lingerie and quadrupling orders in anticipation of overwhelming success. The real reason why I wont carry above a D cup is the inventory nightmare it creates. I know that "plus size lingerie" are the #3 most searched for key words in the world of online intimates but what the hell am I going to do with a 44G bra if it doesnt sell?

Maybe there is a middle ground, and I will do my best to remain on it. But I know the day will soon come for me to choose sides. And when others step forward or to the side and I will leap.