Friday, November 21, 2008

Dames and Broads-they just dont make them like they used to

I spent a good portion of last weekend on my couch watching TV. Even though I had mountains of work to do, I chose to instead lay around in my college boyfriend teammate's jersey (Don't feel bad for him, the bastard had it coming:)) and cashmere socks. Sometimes life in its causal simplicity can bring such joy.

I meant to watch an old movie and revel in the glory that is Elizabeth Taylor, Sophia Loren, or either of the Hepburns (Audrey or Katherine depending on the mood), but then I stumbled upon Bravo TV and became physically unable to turn the channel.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta is simultaneously repulsive and captivating. You will find yourself wondering aloud "are these chicks for real?" as the hours drift by. Between Kim's awful wig and singing voice, Nene's unwillingness to wear a bra or stop talking shit, and Sheree's extremely high and misguided opinion of herself, it really is hard to look away.

But after many hours spent watching that nonsense I began to wonder where all the real Dames and Broads have gone. I miss women with awe inspiring wardrobes and witty one liners who cant keep men from throwing themselves in their direction. They seem to have been replaced with tacky and classless half wits who think that Victoria Secret is the epicenter of sexy.

Are there any left? Or must we wonder the earth searching for the real thing eventually settling for cheap mediocre knockoffs. Take the brief quiz below and reinstore my faith in today's women.

You find out that your guy has been cheating on you. You're supposed to meet him for dinner at a ritzy joint later that evening. You:
B. Attend the dinner and ask him where things went wrong.
C. Put on your sexiest little black dress and meet him as usual. Then you casually bring up the affair, catching him off guard, and carefully escalate the assault to the point where you throw your champagne in his face, and exit gracefully.

In bars, your drinks are:

When men tell you how beguiling you are you respond:
A. "What does beguiling mean?"
B. "Thank you" modestly and then avoid eye contact
C. Yes, I've heard that often but I prefer to think of myself as enchanting

If you answered mostly Cs, there might be hope for us yet.

From one broad to another,

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