This year I gave myself the gift of the single life for Christmas. Because we are all the lord's children I will refrain from saying anything negative about him. I wish him health, happiness and whatever else comes to his kind. I will leave a little older, much less naive and with a few nice pieces of jewelry. Thanks for the memories!
I am also moving on with a few more pounds and some emotional baggage that will no longer fit in my carry on. So needless to say that I have some things to work off and through before I will be ready for whatever is out there waiting for me.
I was twenty six and a 34C the last time I was truly single and I have no idea what it will be like dating in my thirties. Now a 36D and 30 years young, I feel completely unprepared for the world I am entering. I don't know how to flirt or internet date or have casual sex or if I am supposed to do any of those things. With Sex and the City off the air and all my friends in relationships or just as clueless as me, I have no guides on how to proceed. I feel terrified, and excited, and apprehensive, and damaged, and reborn, and hurt, and angry, and destroyed, and free and extremely prone to writing long run-on sentences.
What's a newly single, not feeling so fabulous, bigger breasted girl to do?
I went lingerie shopping. More accurately, i went f%ck that lying bastard, you will never get to see me in any of this but the next guy(s) will absolutely love it, can't wait to be over him, you hurt me so bad i am going to do something incredibly inappropriate in this, my larger D cups look better in this bra anyway, I might just answer the door in this, i don't really care that we are in a recession, good old fashioned lingerie shopping.
And hundred of dollars and a few yards of silk satin and antique lace later, I felt better. Its still hard to sleep through the night. But every morning I wake up to drawers full of something that makes me feel pretty instead of .... him. For now, it will do.
The pics above are the pieces in case you want to see what I bought. (Myla Simone, Myla Nicole, and Sista Shei Blossom)
I hope to one day soon sell other ladies a little bit of comfort...
Dames and Broads lingerie.... Feb 08
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2 comments:
Congrats!! That was EXACTLY what I did in the beginning of this year (after spending new years 2008 curled up and crying in bed while my then on-and-off-again guy partied in Thailand with his best guy friend and assorted Thai ladies). Anyway, it took a little bit of time and tears before I was feeling great, but there was a definite sense of relief and energy that I felt the minute i made the decision to just end it and move on. And then a few months later I met the boy, so who knows! I really believe it's all about making that choice to move on and open ourselves up to something good and awesome, which I think is exactly what you're doing. Good luck!
Thanks so much for this. some days are easier than others:)
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